Is Global Warming the Reason You’re Single?

If you’ve been suffering from something of a dry spell in the downstairs department of late, don’t worry! It has literally nothing to do with you and your ability to seduce a sexual partner into your bed.

Because new research has confirmed it is, in fact, global warming that’s conspiring against you and your sexual prowess.

Well, thank Christ for that.

A bunch of economists from various U.S. institutions—Tulane University, the University of Central Florida, and the University of California, Santa Barbara—assessed 80 years’ worth of fertility records and found that with soaring temperatures come fewer babies.

Which can mean only one thing, my friends: Warmer weather equals less sex.


I know, I know. You’re about to take a look out the window, see the blustering wind and rain, and think, But it’s November! How can heat still be an excuse for my struggling sex life?

But panic not. Remember all those weathermen and women telling us it’s going to be the warmest November on record? Yup: global warming. 

And it’s not just us who think they’re onto something. B*Witched has known about this secret for years. What do you think “Blame It on the Weatherman” was all about?!